In my experience, when your intention is known immediately, it paves the way for what needs to be said and is surprisingly effective at diffusing emotion. Crucial Conversations teaches that safety is a byproduct of mutual purpose and mutual respect, which I believe are best demonstrated when we broach difficult subjects with clear intention and proper timing.
So how do we navigate these discussions? For a crucial conversation to be productive, people need to feel safe.
We tend to look at crucial conversations as a dangerous pit to be avoided at all costs, when in actuality, “crucial conversations well-held accelerate the building of trust between individuals.” However, Grenny points out that silence is never truly silent and if we aren’t talking it out, we are acting it out, and our actions can end up causing more damage. Joseph Grenny, coauthor of the book Crucial Conversations says “You can measure the health of a relationship, the health of a team, even the health of an entire organization by measuring the average lag time between identifying and discussing problems.” He says that at a very young age, we start thinking we have to choose between telling the truth and keeping a friend, so we remain quiet. This skill is essential in the people profession, as I very frequently find myself serving as facilitator and mediator, guiding two parties through these high-stakes, emotionally-charged discussions.
#Crucial conversations outline how to
It was a wonderful framework and methodology to teach leaders how to become better skilled at difficult conversations where the stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong.
When I was a new manager, my employer gave me the opportunity to go through a training course called Crucial Conversations. The biggest risk is not taking any risk… In a world that is changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks.
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